Friday, October 16, 2009

~speechless~

Today in the line to get lunch at work, I was listening to music on my phone, and suddenly a recording comes up. When I raise the volume to identify what is it, it's my baby singing ~The Greatest Love~, by Whitney Houston.

My eyes water up immediately. I was so stupid to lose her. I remember sometimes that she would sing and I would actually get upset, because she wouldn't let me listen to the song by itself... now her voice is music itself, no matter what's coming from her lips...

I miss her so much, but I have to be strong. For myself, and if there will ever be a future us, which I hope, I must still be here...

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

~exhale~

Well, today changes my perspective on many things. We'll see what the future holds. But I'll miss her. I wish we could at least keep playing WoW together... if just so we're still marginally connected by a very flimsy thread instead of entirely separate.

Not that it changes anything. I was asked today if my love was big enough to understand, and live through, this moment, more for her than for us. And yes, it is. So I'll wait. Not forever, but I will.

Anything less would not be true to the very strong emotional bond I feel for her... the love I feel for her...

Monday, October 12, 2009

Yet...

Yet in the deepest darkness, there is always light. As I stand in emptiness, a shooting star passes by. Her brilliant light dazzles me and my surroundings, staying long enough to show me that the world doesn't have to be a dark dreary place.

Yet she moves on, towards her true love. The fact that she leaves sinks me into further despair. But what would have been better, to have known her, if only for an instant, or to not have seen her at all?

It starts again...

The emptiness consumes me as I await something that will never come, something for which I would give my whole life. Even now, here, surrounded by so many people, I feel loneliness devour my heart, leaving a void that in turn devours everything. Nothing can silence it's hunger, and the piece that fits over it is forever out of my reach.

Is there something I didn't give you? Is there something you want from me? Just mention it and it's yours. But please, return my life. To it's halcyon days, to it's times of simple bliss and love everlasting...