Saturday, January 07, 2006


Today I have determined that loneliness is not dependant on the lack of others for you to feel that way. In fact, right now I stand surrounded by many other people, yet I feel alone in their midsts.
Have you ever been at someplace
Recognizing everybody's face
Until you realized that there was no one there you knew
Things are very bad, at least internally. Things are dull. Time seems to pass me by, an observer in my own life. Things and people seem to exists in a different plane as me, everything seemingly within arms reach, yet feeling distant...
Have you ever buried your face in your hands
Cause no one around you understands
Or has the slightest idea what it is that makes you be
I find people whom have known me for periods of time, yet seem to so completely not "get" me, or what it is I live for... It's like no one knows me, or the true me, at any rate. Everyone chooses to believe whatever anyone else says, and simply disregard my existence, except to antagonize me as the "bad guy" in whatever new fear their minds have developed.
Have you ever felt like there was more
Like someone else was keeping score
And what could make you whole was simply out of reach
Yet, even identifying all of this, and disregarding the obviously bad, or stupid things, I still feel uneasy. I still feel like something is missing, like the piece that will bring me in tune with the world around me, is and forever will be out of my reach. I cannot attune with my world, and so I am never truly of it.

What is to become of me...


Anonymous said...

You are never lonely.
I am here.

öz said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
öz said...

Mostly people don't really care about knowing anyone...and most people don't even know themselves.

Yet everyone wants someone to know them; but when that someone appears they "run away in fear" or start subconsciously rejecting them for ACTUALLY knowing them... cuz all of a sudden they cannot 'hide'. *insert sarcastic cackle here*

So "palo si boga, palo si no boga"... Ah, well! *continues sipping on coffee*

I think that learning to accept that everyone is different- but also expressing to other when you feel misunderstood is one of the ways to go...cuz honestly people assume the wrong stand WAY too much about other people and it is a different world for each matter how similar two people are.