Friday, October 14, 2005


I close my eyes, and all I see is the red of the blood in my eyelids. I see all red, like the life that flows through me and throughout my body, allowing me to experience everything else. Attuning to this life I can even feel my heartbeat, pumping in a rythmic reminder that I am alive, and, even deeper, that I am. But this is not what I'm here for now.

I cancel out that sense, and I listen to my music, the only constant in my life. Some people have even gone as far as saying that the headphones are grafted to my neck, so they're either always in my ears or dangling from my neck when in class. But this isn't what I'm here for.

I cancel out my ears, and, just floating there, I feel the rope grid of the hammock sustaining my weight, of my laptop on my lap, and the wind on my face. The wind. I block out the laptop and the hammock, and I keep what I wanted.

The wind.

It's easy to personify it, carresing my face and arms the way it does. I feel it's chilly touch brush my hair, cool down my body to very comfortable temperatures, and pass by my lips, kissing me goodbye. Makes me wonder if I need anything else.

It also helps me concentrate on my current affairs. Things have been hectic and emotionally charged lately, seemingly assaulting from all sides. Hell, the emotional struggle was so huge my wooden bracelet snapped on it's own. Even those I thought were with me seem to have forgotten me. And it is very similar to how I feel now. Floating in nothingness.

But then the wind caresses my lips again.

Makes one wonder just how alone someone truly is. Maybe you just don't know where to look. Maybe your emotions blind you. I know a lot of people with that problem. But at least right now, I'm at peace.

I lift my hands and caress the wind back.

P.S.: My thanks to Eldrin for his wonderful balcony and hammock, the inspiration for this post.

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