Fear versus Hope

It's amazing how fear and hope fight over my mouth. After some chatting, I ask her if I can see her tonight. I'm totally afraid she will refuse me, but I hope she won't. I need to see her. In controlled conditions, before class and normalcy try to consume me again.

She said she would! Well, she said she'd try and stay awake, so I don't know if I will see her. I hope I can.

She says she wants us to be best friends, but I sort of feel like an acquaintance, watching a life that isn't my own through dirty glasses. I'm not a part of her life anymore, and probably never will. I just hope I can be there for her in every way she needs...