Saturday, April 25, 2009

A long day...

At work, I began to fret about her going out. Insecurities kicked in. Still, I silenced them pretty effectively. But I didn't want to give them a chance to creep back up, so I decided to go out as well.

My first option cracked, couldn't go. So I started looking for someone. No one was available. So I sat to read a book my ex lent me while I thought of where to go. But then my best friend tells me she has to talk to me.

I meet up with her, and we talk. About my future and why have I chosen this one. I'm shaken. Yet I go to her who says she loves me for reassurance, and she spurns me, saying it's my problem who I believe, and how dare I go to her with this when she's trying to have fun.

We finish talking, and I apologize to my best friends' host for kidnapping her in the first place. I'd like to think I made a friend right then, but such things are born of time and trust. So we'll see.

His best friend, though, puzzles me, though not as much as he should. He felt uncomfortable by my presence, and doesn't trust me. I've earned it, but I still wonder what he sees...

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