I keep making the same mistakes...

She texted me this morning, woke me up. It's wonderful when the last thing I think before sleep and the first thing I think after sleep is the same: her.

I got dressed for work, but got some chinese takeout and met her at her house. I ate while she picked at my fries and we watched "Rent". Nice movie. Would like to watch it from the beginning.

Then I made the mistake, asking her if I could go to the beach with her friends on tuesday. She refused. I thought she would, but it was worth a shot. Still saddens me, though.

I mean, everytime Clary told Simon to stay home in the Mortal Instruments trilogy, Simon felt left out, and sad or upset. So I'm justified on feeling the same, right? We are best friends, like them...

Are we? I don't know. Sometimes it feels like more, when we connect and our hearts take control. Sometimes like less, when she wakes up and stops me. She said she'd feel better if I wasn't there.

That hurts...

But if she wants space, I guess I'll have to let her have it. What's gonna happen later, though? I worry...

Does she really not love me anymore?